BP and Dawn... A Conspiracy?

   So I had a thought this morning that Coleen thought was worth sharing with the world. I watched a commercial on TV about the BP oil spill and their clean up efforts that made me chuckle. There was a white screen, with a picture of a beach to the right, and on the left was just three words.

      Cleaning up.
      Beaches.

   I started laughing when I realized that it read "Beaches" and not "Bitches" like I initially believed. But then I started thinking about other oil spill related commercials, and I remembered a scene of a volunteer cleaning oil off of a penguin. Who was the commercial for? Dawn dish soap. They were advertising that their soap was so gentle and effective that it was ideal for cleaning the spilled oil off of wildlife.
   This is where my sad, strange, twisted mind started working. Hear me out on this one... BP has oil, but not enough money (greedy bastards). Dawn has soap, but also not enough money. Dawn tells BP "you know what? our soap works amazingly well at cleaning your oil off of animals. see this commercial we made?" BP then tells Dawn "wow, that does work great, and we have all this extra oil that we're hiding so we can charge people their first born when they need it!"
   Now, even though the entire world knows that Dawn works so well you could just squirt 30 gallons or so in the ocean and the entire oil spill would be gone, BP decides instead to drag things out so that their co-conspirator can sell a lot of smaller bottles of soap to the cleanup effort. BP raises prices on oil, citing the loss from the spill as the cause. Dawn raises prices on soap, because they're running low from how much they send to BP. Suddenly both companies are filthy stinking rich (yes, I realize I just said Dawn stinks. Ajax smells much nicer), and no one's the wiser!
   Except for me anyway. And you. Since you just read my dose of truth. You're welcome. So the lesson to be learned from this, is anyone that shows something terrible happening to a penguin is an evil bastard. Even if they're trying to show you that their product is saving the penguin. Those bastards are the ones who caused it all! Where was I going with this... Ah yes, Ajax smells delightful. Buy the grapefruit kind, trust me.


We want our penguins like this...


Not like this.